Muffin Tops

I think most people are already familiar with the dreaded “Muffin Top” but a charming gentleman learned of my blog and really wanted me to write about this subject* (by the way, please let me know if you have suggestions about what I should write about). Mostly, I think I just wanted to do an illustration of a muffin top. Way too much fun to pass up. Here you go! Yay!

Muffin Top002

The only good muffin top is found on an actual muffin.

A close friend of mine told me about the muffin top years before I was blessed with my own. Since I am now capable of carrying around my own muffin top I thought we could discuss it here and talk about ways to avoid it or how to hide it better. Of course, you could always just lose weight but sometimes that just isn’t realistic when you need to run out the door in an hour.

You get a muffin top when your stomach is no longer interested in remaining within the confines of your pants or skirt. This look is especially popular with pudgy teenage girls who believe that tight pants are always the answer (don’t judge them, being a teenage girl is really hard). This happens most often with jeans because denim is such a stiff fabric. When the waist band is too tight your stomach has no where else to go but up, out, and over. You have two choices: 1. buy another pair of jeans that fit you better or 2. disguise it.

Here is what not to do: right now, extra-long shirts are in. This is good news because a muffin top paired with a crop top would be disastrous. Unfortunately, sometimes these same long shirts are also narrow and form-fitting. This does not hide your muffin top but accentuates it.

Instead, you should wear something that skims over your curves and be sure to avoid clingy material. If you have a women’s button-down shirt wear it. Women’s button down shirts frequently have a gentle curve at the waist but maintain their own structure. They won’t hold onto your muffin top and showcase every jiggle. Remember that a button-down can be pretty sexy when you have strategically left certain buttons undone.

Boom! Muffin top problem solved. You’re welcome.

* I guess that men don’t get “muffin tops” they instead get “Dunlap’s Diesease”, where their stomach’s done lapped over their pants. Get it? Done laped? Dunlap’s? Anyhoo, my dad told me that joke when I was about 10 years old and for a while I believed there was a serious disease that afflicted NFL linemen called “Dunlap’s”.

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One comment on “Muffin Tops

  1. gwen says:

    Waist-high jeans…that’s the answer. Holds everything in. Problem solved!

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