My Hosiery n’ Me

Stupid PantyhoseSo, I have problems with hosiery. Here’s my issue: I hate pantyhose, I wear mostly skirts/dresses every single day and the real kicker? I have weird old-lady hang-ups about when it is appropriate to wear bare legs.

Problem 1: I hate pantyhose.
It’s hard to match the color of your skin. It’s a little shiny. It makes me feel like an “Office Lady” or a “Church Lady” or basically, the bad kind of ‘Lady’. The kind of “Lady” you swore you would never be. I also hate paying for pantyhose, the word “pantyhose” and the fact that as soon as you buy some, you immediately run into a desk, scratch the hose with your super sweet heels and then have to pretend like you didn’t notice the gaping hole in your hosiery all day  when you are at a confernce giving presentations and pretending to be a “grown up” professional (see image at left).

Problem 2: I wear a lot of skirts and dresses.
A lot. AND I live in Minnesota so going bare-legged is pretty stupid for a good 2/3 of the year which brings me to problem 3.

Problem 3: I am a little bit of an old-lady.
I have weird old-fashinoned rules about when one should show bare legs in the spring. I don’t care as much about the date on the calendar as I do care about how things look. For example, is there still snow on the ground? You probably look pretty stupid if you have bare legs (even if it’s 65 degrees outside. What are you 16 years old going to prom?). Are there leaves on the trees yet? No? Well, you probably shouldn’t be wearing full summer gear anyway. See? I am already a crotchety old lady.

I am also my own biggest problem. My recent solution is to find hardy nude fishnets (OMG! I love fishnets. Here’s a very old post about them) but even those are hard to find and I am getting even better at wrecking those too.

See? This is a very serious problem. Clearly a problem to lose sleep over.

Open to suggestions!


3 comments on “My Hosiery n’ Me

  1. Heather says:

    Well I think you should stop worrying about feeling like an old lady when you wear pantyhose because Princess Kate Middleton wears them and they have now become more en vogue. Wear your pantyhose like the princess…because it’s classy!!

    As far as snagging goes, why don’t you wear tights when possible?! They are more durable and can make your ensemble fun…

    Hope these suggestions help!!

    • jaydbird says:

      Good advice Heather. I need to remember Princess Kate wears hose. The bad thing about tights is that they are so opaque for a sunny spring. I wear them all the time in the winter.

  2. mike says:

    ladies that wear pantyhose always look good, sexy, and classy in them no matter what age they are old or young but not to young. it doesnt make you any less or more unless you just think other wise so just dont think negative. maybe you just need some compliments to make you feel better :).

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